I Feel!

There are moments in life or in everyday life, when the mere thought of expressing something gets burdened by the weight of lethargy !

I am lethargic today ! Not from exhaustion or denial or simple tiredness. I am lethargic today at my helplessness. I wish to write, to express, to convey … but somewhere it gives me a feel that discomforts me. I am a citizen of this world this country this moral community, but I am handicapped at times. An incident that affects us all with equal disgust needs to be addressed. But how and where seems so inadequate. I can use this and other platforms to propagate … but I cannot instigate the kind of reaction and its follow that is required. This is or perhaps shall be my folly perennially. Some folly deserves retribution. That is the easy part. The difficult part is for the folly to gain universal approval, and at times that does not come through. Many examples get thrown in your face of the power of one single voice, and how that one voice has changed time, history and geography. Regretfully I am not that. There are reasons, but reasons which I shall disclose to myself in the environs perhaps of my own mind and my inner conscience. Many feel that for the some days that is exactly what I have been doing ! I wonder. For when I on those rare moments look back,

I do find anomalies. I may not be able to describe them, but I am certain of their existence.

Many that have seen or spent time with me in observance, lament the fact of not knowing me completely. Of my enigma, of something that remains hidden. Ha ha ! I laugh within, but I shall not disclose why. Why should I ? That territory is mine exclusively. You would have to tear me apart to find an entrance large enough to accomodate you. And that shall not happen. At least I think not !!

Some that do not succeed in deciphering the character, play the game of deliberate cynicism … not the usual … but the deliberate. There is a difference. Cynicism can be just and warranted, and perhaps true in most respects in the eyes of those that indulge in it. Deliberate cynicism suffers a lingering ailment. It penetrates the weakness of the body in disease, not to infect, but to seek more than the disease. It manifests itself into an almost fool proofed examination by the prosecutor in the court of law. It is pungent and disarming, but despite that, its motive is to extract for the justice to command law and punishment, order. It provides a battle with judicial verbology to incite, break down and to confess. Not necessarily for the reasons it was instituted in the first place. That would never be the reality. It is necessitated for those mere and limited reasons only. Get the confession for the judicial order to be passed, live in its success glory for some time, and then move on to the next victim.

Those that succumb to this vile and unbecoming trial, suffer. Those that retain sense and sensibility, suffer too, but with the firm belief that the act and its drama shall play out its three chapters and then the book shall be shut !

I simply love shut books. Often ‘an open book’ describes nature. Mine does not and I wonder if I should
live with this or not …

Methinks I will …. ha ha … live with it ..

Dil