Age

The desire and the power of youth is a miracle of nature. The will, the determination and the confidence of wanting to get and do something is simply unfathomed. As you look back at those days, or the days and acts of the youth of today one wonders at the acumen that they displayed, the strength of their conviction and the accomplishment that they so achieved. There was an air of carefree disdain, almost harbouring on arrogance.

But no .. it was never arrogance, it was what youth brings with it - the confidence of achievement.
What a glorious chapter it is in all our lives. And as we look back on it, we are at times ourselves taken aback by its atrociousness. We wish and wonder when those times shall return, knowing fully well that they never shall, but just its remembrance fills us with an energy that provokes us to match to excel what we did then, and do it better …

Some that reconcile with time, as must they should, find life to be complacent quiet, silent and peaceful in their everyday environs - a walk in the park with fellow team, that game of golf early in the morning with their decided group and later a quiet drink in the restaurant discussing the strokes and the bets that they concluded, the proverbial rocking chair with book or pet, or in some with their grandchildren, teaching them the tricks of the trade, the whys and wherefores of the world, tips that they shall cherish all their lives, meeting old friends and spending evenings recounting the events of days gone by …

It is a natural phenomena to be in such state .. there is repetition in all that is done, there is routine, which if broken by a mere nano second, has the capacity to ruin the mental set up of the elder … they need that … they function so, and that needs to be acknowledged and respected …

Most importantly however, it has been noticed that solitude is a craving at this stage and age .. I have always wondered why ..

But for me … I am blessed … for I have the blessings and the constant connection with my extended family. When I need to talk, I talk. When I need to share I share, and when I need to be left alone, I am graciously left alone. This is an ideal situation, but not always adhered to. Many think it to be rude and disconnected, many demand a response and constantly … if there are several platforms to get in touch with me, each medium shall be bombarded with questions complaints requests … little realising that for the other this may be an immediate want, for me though it is something that I accept but find it difficult to pay attention to as immediately as demanded - there are other works to be attended to as well ..

A lapse i this results in all kinds of insinuations, harsh conjectures and livid accusations. That is not what I shall want or appreciate. I do not sit idle continuously in font of my phone or lap top waiting for the next request to come in .. I have other work and commitments of equal if not more important nature. That needs to be understood and conveyed in the manner of your communication. When you write back that ‘what is the matter with you, I have been writing so much and there is no reply ?’ or ’ i am really upset that you treat me in an alien fashion “, it further confirms to me your complete disregard of my circumstances. If you are unable to reckon with this as a dedicated friend and family member, what can I say in response. It builds in me a barrier, artificially though, of one that does not put himself or herself in my shoes ..

Since my mom is going through a rough episode with her heart, may God gave her the strength to overcome this bad time. In every second and minute of my life she is with me in my thoughts. Closing up this blog I shall remember a passage of story I read in some book about the love that a mother has for her son/daughter:

A son out of some dispute and difference fought with his Mother, and one day killed her. Her heart dislodged from her body and felled, lay on the ground. The act over the son walked out of the room, and almost tripped on her heart lying on the floor ..

The heart spoke up even as the son controlled his balance … it was the Mother’s voice and she said, after her son had tripped and almost fallen :

'I hope you didn't get hurt, son !! '

Love to all...

DiL