How modified the word ‘death’ becomes when it occurs. There is almost a glimmer of reverence in its description. And how majestically its mention gets incorporated in the language of the region or state.
The most apt description for it in true word is of course :
" He is dead !"
Somehow, it never ever sounds ethical to refer to it thus. So a certain politeness was introduced in speech.
'He passed away, or has passed away' .. sounds considerably more eloquent than 'he died, or is dead'! They give the moment a destination too .. 'he has moved or is at a better place', 'he is with the angels', and 'it was HIS calling and went'. There are some references where they tell you in what manner it should be described … 'it was time' ..
The more rougher versions have been no less attractive, eg. in the language of the Mafia .. ‘he sleeps with the fishes !’
BUT in all there is a certain dignity that accompanies the tale.
Its : ’so and so OFF ho gaya !’ OFF ?? It amused me when I heard it for the first time, but then as I learnt to live with it, I felt it to be succinct and quite apt ! On many an occasion one has been philosophical for the moment and often spoken in terms of ‘the light has gone out of our lives”.
To the common then the putting off of the lights in a room, putting it into darkness, was similar to the ‘off’ used at the time of death for an individual. It was synonymous with that switch being put off, on the light board of the room !!
Grieving then becomes another aspect of the ‘passing’ manifested into our beliefs as being auspicious moments when the soul shall travel to its final place in the heavens ..
These are stipulated and perhaps been with us through generations. Certain formalities of prayer and attire and attitude and conduct are carried out. Till the 40th day no food is cooked in the house of the deceased, it all comes from friends and relatives who feed the family. No celebrations for a year after the death in the house by the family .. and many other such ..
Some burn the departed, some bury them, some leave them to the vultures to feed on. Rituals and prayer and other forms of protocol is followed. Many keep in deep anguish and sorrow, many celebrate the going away with music and dance.
And the mind … what of the mind. Do we accept the loss immediately, start being practical or lament and grieve till we drop. In a material world, life goes on, yes there is remorse, but there is the concern for the morrow and the attributes it shall bring. Some look at this with disdain and not too pleasantly, others not.
Both have legitimate reasons for their behaviour, and both may be right in their own way …
So many images and questions in the mind during such moments, it is difficult to pin even one of them … because … we are dealing with the life lost of a human !!
The attendances then of expression of the loss for the others .. the prayer meetings, the gathering of those that one seldom meets or sees, but they are there for the moment ..
Want to express friendship to your friend .. never forget the wedding invite … but most importantly never ever fail to be present at the funeral .. !!
In this most ‘black’ context may we end for today and look for tomorrow with hope and a reborn enthusiasm !!
Love to all...
DiL
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