Insomniac

Just because one gets to bed late and rises early due commitments made of time, it has often given the impression that the concerned person must be an ‘insomniac’.

On several occasions when despite my late hours I have been on time for the early morning promise, the almost cynical condescending view has been that because of my insomnia I am able to live up to my given schedule !! That is pretty laughable ! This is not an acceptance of the punctuality of the situation, it is almost looked upon as a rather lame excuse for being on time. Does being on time really require an excuse ? Those that indulge in such belief, need pathetic sympathy.

But … when insomnia does trouble one, it has the makings of a most disturbing condition. I had one such experience last night, and may I say that it can be one of the most nerve shattering moments in any life. The bed has been occupied, the pillow is in place, the lights are switched off, the eyes are shut … but there is no sleep !!

What does one do in such situations, has the makings of an entire story. And may I say that many stories were written last night in that most unwanted state !

There is twisting and turning, there is adjustment of position, there is building a visual that does not exist, there are conventional sheep counting exercises, there is the lying flat eyes wide open and looking no where, there is the putting on of the night lamp, of television of reading of listening to music, of listening to anything … but all you get to hear is that complex machinery atop your system which continues to tell you .. no way buddy, tonight you shall follow what I have to say … and I say thou shall not sleep tonight .. !!

So .. one reconciles and allows the body to take over the working and guide us towards what it feels is correct, and you accept that and hope that it remains a single solitary and a momentary episodic illusion …

For the moment may I say, that the above assessment of the situation has been holding up. Work in the morning began on time, other things took place, the propositions for new and fresh projects were pleasant and hopefully fruitful, some gadgetry adjustments acquainting myself to procedures and its complexities have been overcome, a few glitches in the writing of this rather unimpressive blog is on its way, a few remarks on both the other platforms have taken place without incident - some complimentary and others not so - and the chiming on the clock announces the time for another test, perhaps in overcoming what could be described as a recurrence of the dreaded condition, ‘insomnia’ …

Dinner has been had. Many among my family members worry if that has taken place and I do appreciate their concern, since they do know that I am ‘home’. It was steamy cooked aromatic pulao with the delicious well prepared achar made by dad, personally sprinkled on top of the delicacy, a must for most household food, followed by the fruit of choice - banana !!

A short, very short, remote crusade on the channels has taken place. The vocal volumes of the anguished and questioning anchors have been seen and heard, the mobiles have been put on ‘charge’, paper work that concerns the morning of tomorrow have been studied, schedules checked and noted, and just the physical movement from the desk to the bed, a few feet away, is what is left of the day …

But what remains is ” in the rush of life, when did we ever get the time to sit perhaps somewhere and think, what we did, said and believed in to be good or bad “

With love,

DiL